Always
by WannaMarryAckles
Summary: What if Shay didn't die? What if she was left fighting for her life? Will she ever be the same again and how will 51 cope? (I was watching old chicago fire and I miss Shay. Way to much.)
1. Chapter 1

**/A.N - Hey guy's. Depending on opinions I may turn this into a full story I don't know yet. I was just watching old Chicago Fire and I missed Shay like hell. So here. Have a fic they don't kill out favorite off. **

Disclaimer: No characters belong to me just story ideas.

No! No! No! "Shay come on, don't do this Shay. Shay." He could hear voices, Dawson crying and Casey telling him to let her go but he couldn't he had to keep going he had to make sure she didn't die. Weak pulse, no breathing, blood. There was so much blood. Dawson was still crying and trying to help; she checked her over whilst he continued to try and keep his best friend alive. "Come on Shay."

"Severide we have to get her to the ambulance." Casey warned and before he knew it she was gone. They had taken her. Please. No. He didn't know what to do. Severide sat still. Dawson was still crying, but they had taken Shay. She had to hold on for him, she had to. He wouldn't be himself if she wasn't here. He'd screw up and who would be there to help him? He was going to get hurt and he needed her god he was being selfish but he couldn't let her go. She was his best friend. Have I ever been right without her? He thought to himself as he sat down the building crumbling behind him.

"Severide."

Casey. That was Casey he was sure it was. Dawson's crying was gone. How long had he been sat here? Where were they taking Shay? She's still alive Severide. She's not leaving you. Shay would never leave you. She promised. Always.

"Severide it's time to get out come on we have to go." He was moving. Or should he say being moved. There were hands all over him. Dragging him from the building. Outside. Sirens. Lot's and lots of sirens. Shay!

"Where is she?" Severide calls out as he stumbles from the building now moving of his own accord as he looks around for her. He comes into contact with Boden. Strong arms. They wrap around him and he watches from over his shoulder as Dawson collapses in Casey's arms. Mills is being loaded into an ambulance. Shay. They must have put Shay in the first ambulance and took her. Mills let her go first. Before he can stop them the tears come. Why are you crying Severide? She is going to be okay. You know she is. She fights. Shay never quits. She never say's that it's enough. And she promised you. But she looked so weak, so fragile, like a broken doll. And there was so much blood. Too much blood.

"Let go Severide. Let go." Boden's words reached his ears but he couldn't reply. He couldn't stop the crying, he was sobbing now. Into the chiefs wedding suit.

"Can't… Can't lose Shay chief- won't survive." The words he finally spoke were almost unrecognisable. But chief had been in this business long enough. He had held far to many men as they watched the ones closest to them be carted off. On the brink of dying. He had been that friend, Severide knew chief understood. Together they crumble to the floor. One broken man holding onto another, chief tries to be strong for the both of them but it's not enough. Not today. Severide doesn't care. All he can think about his crying and Shay. God he has to get to Shay.

The next sound he registers is the beeping. He's looking through the hospital doors to the room that holds Shay. He still has his uniform on. To be honest he's not really sure he remembers being taken to the hospital. He was put into Boden's truck. Slouched against the back seat he continued to cry. By the time they had reached the hospital his face was dry and he was silent. Severide had just about managed to walk into the hospital. He wasn't silent when they had told him he couldn't see her yet. No he was furious. They stuck something in him. Knocked him out. Made him sleep. Shock. Hermann said it was because he was in shock. Severide really didn't care. "Where's Shay?" It's all he had asked when he was woken up and he had been taken to her room. The beeping. It was so loud in such a silent room. Her head had been shaved at one side. He could tell. Even with the large bandage around her head.

"Swelling of the brain."

"Coma."

"Critical."

"Fight. It's up to her to fight." Well she will show you lady. He thought as he walked into the room and pulled up the chair to sit beside her bed. Taking her hand he clasped it between his and held it to his cheek as he sat and looked at her. He could feel the tears coming again. They were running down his cheek and onto their hands as he held them close to his face. Over the next few hours people came. People went. Doctors checked on her but Severide didn't move a muscle. He sat in the chair and he prayed for her. Mumbled. Begging her not to leave him. He reminded her over and over again of her promise. "Always Shay. You said always." He whispered against her hand.

He was asked to leave and almost had to be sedated again. They wanted to bath her. Told him he should go home and shower but he got as far as her hospital door which he stood and waited by. Like security. Severide was protecting her. He was protecting his best friend whilst she was broken and defenseless. When he could he returned to her side. Casey came. Dawson came. Dawson was crying again. Food. He didn't ask for it. But they brought it anyway. Sleep they told him. I already did that when you knocked me out.

It hurt to look at her. To feel how cold her hand was as she laid and he circulation was weak whilst her body was working over time to heal her. Medicine pumping through her veins. But he was terrified. Terrified if he looked away or let go of her she was going to slip away. Severide had to sit and he had to remind her that it was always. That she couldn't leave him. He wouldn't survive if she did. You have a chance Shay. Doc say's you just gotta fight. We will fight together. I'll be here when you wake up. I'll be here by your side. It's me and you blondie.

"Always."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Hey guy's thanks so much to the reviewer I got and also those that Favorited or followed! Honestly that's what give me the motivation to keep writing this stuff so keep sending them my way because I need this story. **

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Kelly Severide liked to think he was strong. That he could get passed anything if he really tried but it had been seeing his best friend in a hospital bed, stuffed with tubes and looking utterly broken to make him realise that he had only ever survived at this before because Shay had been there with him. He had been through all the stages at her bed side once his shock had really warn off. For the first few days he had been hopeful. He had taken the fact nothing bad had happened as a good sign but he was ignoring the face nothing good had happened either. When her family had arrived he had gottten to the desperate stage, it had been six days and nothing. Severide hadn't left her side longer than to shower and put some decent clothes on yet neither she nor the doctors were giving him anything. Day seven and he was mad, he was furious. This wasn't fair. How out of everyone in the house was it Shay this had happened too. Pure, kind and loving Shay. His Shay.

He had left the hospital for the first time that day. Headed straight for the local boozer, bought as much as he could and had sat and drowned his sorrows. Dawson found him and together they had shouted at each other enough somehow they knew they weren't fighting for Shay alone any more. In fact he could remember every word they had spoken.

"Severide. She wouldn't want this." Dawson had pleaded with him trying the kind approach at first. "How are you going to feel if she wakes up whilst you are here smelling like a whiskey factory and not at her side or somewhere useful huh?"

"Just one more time I let her down I guess. I let her down every step of the way. The drugs, the baby…everything she went through with the suicide. I wasn't there for her enough and it should be me lying there like that not her." He spat in his drunkenness as he swirled his brown liquid around the pitcher before knocking it back and gesturing for another.

Dawson watched as the barman moved to poor him one and shook her head. "No! He's had enough and he's coming with me." She spoke loudly and tugged on Kelly's arm but he had shrugged her off. Then she had really let loose on him.

"You want to know about disappointment Kelly? You want to know about guilt and feeling blame! I made her switch sides with me. I was there. I should have been performing that procedure but I thought she needed to know it so I made her switch with me! So don't sit here drowning your sorrows. If anyone get's to do that it's me. Because it shouldn't be her there and it shouldn't be you either it should be me!"

"Oh it's all about you isn't it Dawson. But it would have been Casey in the same place as me if it was you in that hospital bed. He would just be stronger. He could help you more."

"Severide there is nothing you can do! Her brain swelling is reducing. The doctors said so this morning if you had bothered to stay around long enough. There isn't anything you, or me or hell the professional doctors can do at the minute so you need to get of your ass, go home and shower because you stink and then you need to meet me back at that hospital and sit by her side with me until she wake's up. Because she is going to wake up!" Looking at the paramedic Kelly could see this was her breaking point, if he didn't leave with her now he probably wouldn't be leaving till his liver packed up on him.

"I can't lose her Dawson. She is the only good thing I have left going in my life." He barely whispered as he moved from his bar stool to stand before her.

That had been 5 days ago now though and true to her word Dawson had been here at the hospital by his side since he had returned the smell of whiskey on slightly lingering, well that would be a day Shay could shout at him about later. The others had all gone back to work at 51. They had tried to get both him and Dawson to follow them, let the doctors here do their work but the silent gaze across the room as they locked eyes with each other had said they would hold out here together. It made it easier working as a team. They could slip out for food and coffee when needed. Take turns at small naps through the night so someone had always gone and eye on her. Between the two of them they were doing everything they could think off. Reading her favourite books, playing her favourite music even though it drove them insane. Speaking of past memories and future dreams they had promised each other. Hell Kelly had even begun promising if she made it through this they would go back to trying for a baby. He would get all the money they needed, he would even do plan B if they had to which had amused Dawson when he had told her of their awkward encounter in his office with fondness.

"Hey Severide I am just going to go and pee and get a coffee you want anything?" Dawson asked as she stood from her chair and stretched out her legs for the first time in hours.

"No I'm good thanks Dawson." He mumbled quietly but he lifted his head from the book he was reading to give her a small smile as she left the room. When she was gone he placed the book down and took her hand between his resting it on his cheek like he had the first time he had come into the room, which was only 12 days ago but it felt like a life time had passed to him. "You know now would be a really good time to wake up. I just don't think I can listen to one more of your albums no matter how much I love you and google say they could be useful." He laughed to himself and shook his head. God all he wanted was to hear a sarcastic response from her.

Her bandages around her head had been changed and he could tell her blonde hair was starting to grow back. God she was going to have a field day with that when she woke up. In fact he could imagine her shaving the whole lot of and starting from scratch, and he didn't doubt she would look as beautiful as she always had. He was watching her so hard he thought he was seeing things at first till her small jerk was followed by the smallest of gasps. She winced. He didn't know what it meant or if she was going to do it again and wake up but she had definitely winced.

"Hey doc!" Severide called rushing to the door looking for the older woman who was working Shay's case. "Hey come over here."

The doctors looked from her notes to see the handsome firefighter calling her name, at first she had suspected husband and at the very least fiancée. The words spoken by the young man to her friend were ones she had even see old couples struggle to confess to each other but not him. And the way he had sat by her side was truly touching. "What is it? Is Leslie okay?" She asked her voice laced with concern as she headed towards the room.

"I – I don't know I was watching her and she winced. Doc I am not making this up I saw it." Severide looked at her confused as to what was happening.

"Alright, we will run a few tests and try and understand the state she is at ok? If you could just step out of the room and give us ten minutes with her." Despite his instincts to stay and fight he nodded stepping back outside the clicking door. It was roughly five minutes later when he had just about started to twitch when Dawson rounded the corner carrying a coffee and gossip magazines he was most likely going to have to endure her reading to Shay later.

"Kelly… why… why aren't you in there is she okay? What's going on? Did she get worse?" Dawson flew the questions at him and he had to grab her and keep her steady to stop her from going into the room.

"Hey no calm down. She winced. I have no idea what that means or if it's a good thing. The doctor said they are going to do more tests and…" As he spoke the doctor returned from the room the smile on her lips small but present.

"It seems to be that Leslie is regaining some levels of consciousness. She is responding to pain which I know might sound like a bad thing but it's actually quite positive as it means that her brain is functioning at least on a very basic level. We can keep her pain levels stable with more drugs but at this rate we may be able to take her from the machines and let her breath on her own." The doctors smiled at the two youngsters before her.

Severide was beaming, of course he was trying to keep his hopes to a minimum but that was useless right now as he made his way into the room. He took in the sight of her again but this time is was with a renewed sense of hope. Shay was going to be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Hey there guys so it's been a while. Well more than an while because I suck but I have a new chapter up for you if anyone is still interested in reading and I have the next 3 chapters ready to go after this because I have spent a little time reading so let me know what you think!**

The dull ache in her head was the first thing she felt as she started to come around, the second thing she noticed was the beeping, it was loud and obnoxious but she began to block it out as her attention was brought to something else in the room, a sort of bickering. Their voices were ones she was very familiar with but it was taking her just a second to place them in her mind as she fought against the throbbing.

"We can totally make a squad man out of you… I mean just think of all the small places we could send you and I mean why wouldn't you want to be on squad, we are clearly the better team." One voice boasted, the voice comforted her, made her feel at home and safe.

"I struggled enough to make it through the academy I would never make squad level, not that I want to anyway. You guys have such huge egos I wouldn't fit in the squad truck, besides I like it on truck anyway." The female voice huffed from the other side of her bed and the sound of something hitting the table became clear to her, almost like a playing card. Dawson… that was Dawson and the other male well she knew him now, it was obvious.

"Kelly…" Shay croaked quietly, her voice breaking after not being used for just over a week now. The blue eyed firefighter spun in his chair and looked at her watching as her eyes fluttered open and her lips curved into a smile at the sight of her two best friends. Severide looked at her feeling tears form in his eyes as he moved forward and cupped her face in his hands.

"Oh my god you're awake… you're okay. My god Shay." He breathed out pressing his lips to her head as his eyes closed and a tear fell onto her pale skin. The doctors had told them any day now it was all just on Shay to wake up and make it out of here on her own now and he had tried to be patient with his waiting but it wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. The time had gone quickly when the different members of 51 had stopped by to keep him company but the nights had had spent asleep at her side when it had been quiet were the worst. The blonde paramedic laughed gently and smiled across at Dawson who was smiling at the two having linked a hand with her best friend whilst she let Kelly have a moment. Severide didn't want to open his eyes again scared he had been dreaming and she wasn't awake. He pulled away to look down at her his smile wide before he saw her wince slightly.

"Hey what's wrong what is it?" He asked with panic stepping back to scan the woman for any signs of injury or pain he might have caused or missed.

"My head… aches." Shay whispered quietly turning to look at Dawson. "Can I get some water?" She asked.

"Oh god, of course you can." The brunette gashed letting go of her hand a second to poor her friend a small glass of water from the jug at the side of her bed. "Is it just your head? Where else hurts? Do you need some pain relief, I'll get the doctor to give you whatever you want." Dawson blurted as she moved back to the side of the bed and helped Shay take a drink as Severide supported her head for her, careful to avoid the patch where her head had been glued back together. "I best go tell him you're awake." The brunette spoke again before Shay got a chance to reply and then she was off before anything else could be spoken. The blonde turned to look at Severide who hadn't stopped staring at her like she might brake since she had opened her eyes.

"Hey." She whispered softly smiling at her reaching out gently to wipe one of the tears off of his cheek as he let out a small cough mixed with laughter. "Hey." Kelly breathed slightly leaning into her touch.

"What are you crying for? I'm alive aren't I?" She asked him though she knew why the tears were falling from his eyes.

"I thought I had lost you…" He choked slightly as he was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions now she was awake. Keeping together had seemed like the only option whilst he sat at her side, don't let this get you down and keep your head up. But now she was awake it was like he had taken his first breath in days and the feelings were flooding his brain.

Shay shook her head the best she could and smiled up at him stroking her thumb over another falling tears. "Didn't we promise each other always?"

...

It had been a few days since Shay had woken and the doctors had run plenty of tests. She would need a few rounds of physical therapy after the swelling of her brain but other than the head ache she currently had which would go over the next few days she was physically fine. Truth be told she couldn't wait to get out of here. The guys and chief had all been to see her as had her parents and sister but other than the visits she hated the place. She didn't know how she hadn't noticed the smell before, and the horrid colour of the walls before but she suddenly pitted every patient she had ever brought into this place. She grunted as she moved her leg forward again. Shay had expected to get up and walk out of the place with ease but it seemed her body had different ideas and so she was currently working on her physical therapy so she could get out of here quicker.

Severide watched on as she working with her therapist smiling as she made a witty joke about him touching her ass. She had been fighting ever since she had woken up and he wasn't sure he could be any prouder of her. Hearing foot steps behind him Severide glanced to see who it was smiling at the sight of chief behind him.

"How's our girl Kelly?" He asked gruffly, each of his people were like children to him and it had been almost as stressful for him as it had Severide, seeing her on her feet and fighting was the best thing he had seen in weeks.

"She's good, everything is back to normal except her walking her feet just need to some working." The lieutenant watched her.

"Well that's good. We need to talk about you coming back to work. Whaley has been in filling for you but he's only in for three weeks. I need you back soon." The chief didn't want to seem like he didn't care but there was only so long he could keep the officials at bay.

"I know." Severide sighed, he was itching to get back to work himself and he knew Shay was to but he just didn't want to leave her when she might need him. "Once she is walking and home I'll be back, I think maybe a week tops?" He asked looking at the older man for some sort of reassurance. Boden placed a hand on his lieutenants should and squoze lightly before he headed off. Severide returned his attention to Shay as he watched her make her way back towards him slowly using the crutches for support. As she lifted her head and smiled at him he felt his heart swell, god he was happy she was smiling again, he knew she was struggling, she wouldn't tell him of course, but he knew. He couldn't shake the feeling of dread he constantly had as he worried something was going to go wrong and she was still going to be taken from him but he was keeping his smile placed tightly for her.

Right now he felt like he would do anything she asked him to, he had only left the hospital because she had not to politely told him that he needed a shower. Kelly laughed as she mimicked the therapist and rolled his eyes at her, she was still his Shay and that was all he had ever wanted back. He felt something stir in his as he watched her closely but he tried to shake it off, it had been the same feeling he had had over the past two weeks but he was trying to ignore it. Because it would only cause trouble, he knew it would. Shay wouldn't look at him the same and he would lose the best friend he ever had. Kelly Severide could not love Leslie Shay.

But he knew deep down he did, he was hopelessly in love with her.


End file.
